Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
