i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My dick has a subreddit
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
