I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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