Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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