ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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