bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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