i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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