weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Are we still banned from the library?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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