Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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