theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
