She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
