took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
