i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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