I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
