was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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