I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
