heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
