I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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