We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
