i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
