im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
