i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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