she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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