he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
