I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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