i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
