U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
