How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
