if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
