I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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