I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
