he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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