Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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