dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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