I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
