The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
