Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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