I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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