well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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