he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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