A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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