we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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