WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
