I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
