so that wasnt chicken after all
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
