Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
