What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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