i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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