apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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