the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
