and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This is classic penis vs brain.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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