just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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