I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
