at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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