Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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