dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
