i'm signing you up for texting rehab
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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