puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize