Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm passing your future prison.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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